Would I had been

Would I had been, the man I wanted to be

Then I could say, simply, call me a friend

But life is filled with sin, life disallows the happy

 

It should have filled the soul, this drive to find and see

The way of others, the ease in which they blend

But they can’t see the man I wanted to be

 

I could try to change my heart, fill it with forms of glee

Pretend and play, immerse and trend

But that isn’t me, never feeling that free

 

If it’s for the good, I would be a tree

To stand and stay, to never bend

But my roots stay close, there’s no buzzing of any bees

 

I’m made of no wood, I have nowhere to flee

All through the day, I fear to transcend-

Fear they’ll arrive, to turn my key

 

So I raise up my hood, I make my agrees

I act as do they, fake and expend

Would I had been, the man I wanted to be

Maybe, then, I’d fit with society

 

 

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A Question

I have a question, though from my breath it falls

It dances across the tongue, seeking simple thoughts

My voice it holds, then it blows, creating little squalls

 

The thought fills and flows, ’til mind no longer recalls

It lasts long within the lung, words beginning to clot

Air finally let’s go, just before the darkest walls

 

In my throes, the question returns, and stalls

It won’t be sung, refuses to be caught

I bow down low, taking a knee at the pitfalls

 

Speaking slow, I spread my hands and crawl

Feeling strung, I know not what I sought

The fated blow, refusal grabs my soul and hauls

 

Pain to my toes, wretchedness calls

To the crowd I’m flung, all this time for naught

The stairs glow, taking me to other halls

I will grow, throw myself off more waterfalls