Creation (New Book)

Journal Entry #1:

This Journal is the ownership of the great and powerful Walker Rohe. I’m writing this with a hope in my heart, that I can dispel a plague of anxiety that follows me everywhere I go. I had this woman, some psychiatrist, tell me I need to have a place to escape to, somewhere I could be alone with my thoughts. Can a thought be lonely? She said it’d be cathartic and to write as if I was speaking to my best friend. Lets get to it.   

The first thing you need to know is, I’m a coward. Now I don’t mean that “run from the bad guy” kind of coward or trope if you will, but more of a “this is getting too personal” type. I’m afraid of relationships. They’re like worms who crawl under your skin and demand a type of payment. Feed me! They scream. Spend time with me! Why aren’t you calling! It’s terrifying. Who the hell wants to deal with that all the time, I’m a very busy man. Well not very busy, but sometimes somewhat busy. I like to stay busy that is.   

When I’m not the busiest guy on Earth, which I totally am,  I’m walking around town trying to find a new hobby. I love to learn new ways of doing things. Build model planes? Done. Craft a high-end computer from scratch? Complete! Date a pretty girl? Run away! My degree in liberal arts can only stretch so far, and as the great quote goes- “A jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one.”

I’m a jack of something all right. 

I’ve learned how to live alone, and I greatly excel in this particular art form. I never had the most friends, with a few stringers I’d see here and there, as I’ve found friends come with requirements. Why would I want to be restrained? Freedom is my intangible hope. Freedom from the restrictions of my life. Freedom from material requirements. Freedom from hatred and freedom from tradition, that oh so hidden chain. 

The scariest part is, that I can’t figure out all the different scenarios that can happen to a guy like me. I’m always planning, in the back of my head, for what can go wrong in any given situation. I just need a bit more control in my life, a bit more room to breath and breath easily. So I’m on a quest. A quest for acceptance into the world. A quest for a future I can make my own. 

This journal is a  travel guide for my future glorious self, and I hope to use it as a review of past mistakes. If you’re reading this, and shouldn’t be, you’re a real s-o-b.